7/23/2011

R.I.P. Amy Winehouse

I couldn't believe my eyes, when my cousin wrote to me two hours ago and told me that Amy Winehouse passed away today. I was just listening to her cover of Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow. The news made me feel like I was in 60's or 70's for an instance. I just couldn't believe it.
This makes me really sad, she was one of my favourite singers and I am still in shock. So young and so talented, but yes, unfortunately her addiction was stronger than that. What a waste, god damn it. All the good ones go because of drugs. :(

Rest in peace Amy, you will be missed. <3

7/17/2011

Iz srca.

Evo me...nazaj sem z morja. In sem se odločla napisat eno objavo v slovenščini. Enkrat se bom nehala spraševat kaj je OK, kaj ni, a bi mogla tko al drugače. Jebeš. Danes me ne briga.

Torej...zdej, ko me ni blo en teden in sem bla na morju nekje na samem, brez elektrike, telefonov, še tapravega tuša ni blo...skratka - nič, pa useeno zadosti, da preživiš...sem se po zelo ZELO dolgem času sklopila...dobesedno. In končno malo zadihala. To se mi že zelo dolgo ni zgodilo in moram rečt, da ne vem a se tako počutim samo v tem momentu, ampak vem, da se in sem vesela, da je tako. Kot da bi zagnala cel sistem spet od začetka. Morje kot morje je blo enkratno, meli smo se super in sem prav vesela, da sem šla, ampak ne samo za žur, tut zato, ker sem se v tem kratkem tednu, na tem nepomembnem kraju za moment spet našla. Pa sploh ni, da je bilo moje počutje non stop na vrhuncu, je kar dosti nihalo. Ampak tako kot se počutim zdaj, to je neopisljivo.

V teh dneh sem malo premišljala določene stvari in v sebi doživljala razno; bila sem jezna, vesela, razpizdena, sitna, žalostna, prestrašena in nakoncu presrečna...in vse to samo zato, ker sem se enkrat po 100 letih odločila, da bom spustila iz glave vse te bedne misli, ki mi grejo vsak dan na tisoče krat po glavi in začela malo bolj lahkotno gledat na stvari...in mi je to nakoncu tudi uspelo. Mogoče, ker tam ni računalnika, telefona, pa družine in obveznosti in imaš časa res na pretek....in ne, ne sovražim zdaj vsega tega naštetega, ampak...zaveš se kako zamujaš samega sebe, ker se preveč obremenjuješ z manj pomembnim. Bedna sem se si zdela. S čim se ponavadi ukvarjam...saj morda se jutri zbudim in bo spet vse isto. Ampak, če bi bila še naprej taka kot sem v tem momentu, bi bilo moje življenje v prihodnje dosti lažje. In lepše. Trenutno vem kaj mi je pomembno in kaj hočem...kaj hočem zdaj, jutri, mogoče celo čez pet let, ne rabim seznamčkov, opomnikov. Boli me kurac. Kot da mi je to kdaj pomagalo. Tako lepo se že dolgo nisem počutila, v sebi čutim zanemarljivo količino strahu, nimam potrebe po sarkazmu, po depresiji. Ta nepomemben moment je daleč najlepši moment v zadnjih par letih. Čutim se kakšna sem v resnici.

In kaj bom zdaj? Ne vem. Bom vidla. Mogoče si res še premislim. Trenutno vem, da kar se starih navad tiče...rada bi še naprej pisala ta blog. Preden sem šla na morje sem ga hotela zbrisat in celo naredit novega. In sem ga ubistvu tudi naredila. Trenutno nisem imela namena komu povedat za to. Ampak v resnici sploh nisem bla prepričana, če naj ga usposobim ali ne. In zdaj, ko sem prišla domov in pogledala na to bedno stran in prebrala teh par komentarjev...sem si v momentu premislila. Mogoče sem res človek, ki ga par pozitivnih, s to temo popolnoma nepovezanih mnenj, z lahkoto spreobrne, ampak ko sem temu prištela še nekaj prisrčnih sporočilc tako imenovanih "tihih spremljevalcev" - se mi je zazdelo, da ga je škoda. Saj mu ubistvu čisto nič ne fali, samo jaz sem se malo prenajedla vsega. Od objavljanja, pa do tistega občutka po potrebi po komentiranju, da bodo ljudje vedeli, da mi je njihov blog všeč. Čisto rada imam vse bloge, ki jih spremljam, ampak, včasih se ti pač ne da komentirat. Priznam, presrečna sem kadar tudi sama dobim lepe komentarčke pod objavo, ampak ni mi všeč, da počasi vse skupaj zgleda že skoraj "komentar za komentar". Jaz nočem odvračat ljudi, jaz hočem, da bi jim bil moj blog všeč. Brezpogojno. Sicer pa...malo bom spremenila layout, ker sem se ga naveličala. Ko sem naredila ta blog, sem si prisegla, da moj pa ne bo minimalistično bel s ČB headerjem, ker so taki vsi. Kurac. Zdaj mi je pa všeč. Bela stran s tisto staro računalniško Courier pisavo. Mika me. Ne vem še glede headerja, ampak saj smo umetniki v familji, bom že kaj spackala skupaj, kar mi bo všeč. Mogoče si vzamem tudi malo pavze, samo da bom potem začela z večjim veseljem. Kar se pa objav tiče...po starem. Vse ostalo je lahko ena velika kopija, ampak tega dela pa ni moč spremenit, tu človek pusti pečat in tu izgine vsaka podobnost. Vse kar napišem je napisano iz srca in bo tako tudi ostalo. 
Evo...cela reč. Ne, moj blog ni moje življenje, je pa en zanimiv del in kdaj rada malo dramatiziram. Pa še ponosna sem, da sem končno prvič objavila enega od teh mojih romanov, ki jih večkrat spišem in potem vedno zbrišem. 

P.S. Nikomur ni treba komentirat, se pa iskreno zahvaljujem vsakemu, ki je to prebral do zadnje pike.

7/08/2011

You'll never forget your first.

Guess what? I decided to do that blog award post. Finally! :D After, what, two months? Oh boy, oh boy. Sorry, it's just that when I have to write about stuff like "write ten random facts about yourself", I will always think about it for years, before actually writing it down.

So, I got it from lovely Nuša, who unfortunately doesn't run her blog anymore at the moment. Anyway, thank you so much! :) This is my first blog award ever. The rules are:
- write 10 facts about yourself,
- pass the award to another 10 bloggers.

Note: I didn't really like the award design, it didn't fit my blog, so I did this one for me, that you can see below. But here is the original one, if you prefer that one. :)


10 random facts about me:
1. I prefer salty over sweet and if I'm not having my period, then I'll always pick a bowl of spaghetti alla puttanesca over a piece of cake.

2. I have OCD. I count subtitles, I count if things are odd or even, I check every glass or fork before using it, when I hang my laundry I put the same color of clips on each piece, I sometimes think that if I wore a certain bra and had luck, then I must wear it again. I have a lot of obsessive thoughts. I actually realized that I have OCD only a year ago.

3. I swear quite a lot, but I couldn't possibly imagine myself not doing it. It's just a part of my character. Yes, I still have manners.

4. I really want to live in another country. Somewhere by the sea. Fuck Paris.

5. It's really difficult for me to fall in love and I sometimes almost feel like a man. Until I do fall in love. Then I become such a different version of myself, it's just funny. I do love love.

6. My favourite couple ever are Morticia and Gomez Addams. Yes, they are fictional, but hell yeah, if I had a love like theirs I would be happy for the rest of my life. Idols.

7. I sometimes feel like I have 10 different women trapped inside me. In general I am not the worrying kind, I'm spontaneous, happy, relaxed and at the same time I do what I have to do, but then here we have the OCD person, the obsessive one, the one that doesn't give a fuck, the worrying one...it gets so crazy sometimes. I blame it on my Venus in Gemini.

8. I am very ambitious, but I rather keep it to myself. People are way too negative and envious and the moment you say the word "ambition", you're suddenly a bad person, only craving money and success.

9. I sometimes worry of how I come across to people, I don't know why. I always want to prove to people, that I'm not a bad person and that I don't judge and I think sometimes it comes out wrong. At the same time I don't want to act common, just so people would like me. In the end it's better to change the audience, if they don't like you for who you are.

10. What more can I say. I'm hard to explain and there's so much more to me. But through experience I think I'm one of those people where you only have two options: love it or leave it.

10 people I nominate:
Anita from Life. Style.Fun.
Saša from Duckalicious
Eva Ana from All Around Eve
Laura from That's So Yesterday
Alja from Ljubeznice 
Špela from Fashion Junkie
Ana from Fashion Fly
Ela from F-BLOG

The nominees' names are randomly put and it wasn't my intention to hurt anyone by not putting them on the list, there are so many blogs that I love and I'll nominate them next time. :)


7/07/2011

Luck be a lady tonight.

Long time no see. :) Alright, I'm making an outfit post today, but first I really have to tell you this - I just won my first giveaway!!!! :) I am so happy!

 I won a pair of these beautiful VINTAGE earrings from Tesa of a blog called Magnifique, one of my favourite Slovenian blogs, check it out here. I remember me entering that giveaway a few weeks ago thinking "Oh, those are just too gorgeous. It couldn't possibly be me." and then I randomly check my e-mails on Sunday and I see one saying "You're a winner of my giveaway." I just jumped out of the chair and started screaming like a crazy person. :D I've never won anything like this before and I can't wait to get those and style them with my outfits. Thank you so much Tesa! :)

As for the outfit...this is what I wore yesterday. There was this party at the "Beach" in Nova Gorica. In the summer they make this beach themed thing in the middle of the city, they make stuff like a little "Tiki" themed bar on the sand floor, different stands with food and beverages and there is a different programme every day. Yesterday it was a concert, we also went there two days ago to dance* Zumba. :D (*We were actually rather sipping on an ice cold beer.) Yesterday was pretty cool and I wore heels after a really loooong time and realized I should do it more often. :D

Pics taken by my friend Kaja. :)




I was wearing: H&M striped top, Oviesse shiny leggings, Pittarello heels, New Yorker bag, H&M ring, random Indian store bracelet (actually a snake necklace), KIKO yellow nailpolish, & Laško beer. :P